


Each Moment

by JCapasso



Category: Haven (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-06
Updated: 2020-12-06
Packaged: 2021-03-09 22:42:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,535
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27923977
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JCapasso/pseuds/JCapasso
Summary: What if Duke found words before Audrey walked outside in Colorado and they decided to just live each moment to it's fullest.
Relationships: Duke Crocker/Audrey Parker
Comments: 2
Kudos: 10





	Each Moment

Audrey could tell that Duke’s mind was working even as he appeared to be lounging and his attention seemed to be more on his beer and chips, which was why she was still trying to talk things out. “So, Arla Cogan, she killed herself when the Colorado Kid went missing. So he and Lucy, they...they never really had this big love affair.” When Duke didn’t seem to have anything to add, she got frustrated. “This... this whole thing, this is just... this is ridiculous. Look. When I first showed up to Haven, I was an FBI agent, I was looking into a case. I knew who I was. Life was good. It was good. And then I found out I had, what, not one, but two...two past lives, that I know of.” She got up, letting herself go into a rant. “Nothing is what I thought it was. The first past life I was completely wrong about, and the other one...the other one's still a mystery to me.”

Duke couldn’t help but smirk as she grabbed another beer. She was so adorable when she got worked up. “You know, if you want something stronger that, I saw Funyuns in the vending machine,” he joked. It was all he knew how to do since he didn’t have any actual ideas for her. 

“Funyuns, yes. Funyuns...” Audrey said with wide eyes. 

“Yeah...” Duke tried to tamp down his amusement at her obvious excitement over the fact, but before he could say anything else she kept going. 

She kneeled on the bed next to him as her mind started whirling. “And... and pizza, and... and hand-rolled cigars, and, uh... and skydiving, and those little... candy that's...the dispenser thing. 

“Pez,” he supplied helpfully. 

“I've never experienced that before.”

“I get it, okay? I've been saying that for a month,” Duke couldn’t hold back his amusement any longer. 

“A month?” she asked incredulously. 

“You want cigars? I got Cubans on the Cape Rouge,” Duke told her happily. Finally, something he could help with. 

“A month,” she shook her head ruefully as she got back up and returned to pacing. “This is... this is hilarious, right? Right, you tell me about this Hunter meteor storm thing, you explain to me what it is, that I...that I go away, and I waste a whole month chasing what?”

Duke frowned as he sat up. That hadn’t been where he wanted this to go at all. “You didn't waste anything,” he said earnestly. “You know, you...you solved the Colorado Kid mystery. And you can beat.../we/ can beat this Hunter thing,” because he would be right there beside her every step of the way, doing anything in his power to fix all this. 

“Come on, Duke,” she rolled her eyes with a harsh laugh. “Now I have to beat a Hunter thing? No, no, I-I got what, uh, 20 days left? No, I just...” she sighed and deflated, going to sit next to him. “I want to live my life,” she all but begged. 

“Okay,” Duke agreed sadly. “However you want to do it, you know? You want to...help the Troubled, or you just want to live your life, I'm in.” Anything that would make this easier for her. 

Audrey felt that same feeling that she always got when Duke was being his normal supportive self. That overwhelming love that just washed over her. Not that she didn’t feel it other times. She did. Every moment with Duke she fell more and more in love with him, but times like this…it was so hard to fight it. “You...you are an amazing friend,” she tried to remind herself of that last word. Friend.

“I'm just saying, you have choices,” Duke said gently, trying his hardest not to fall any deeper for her, and failing miserably. Just like he always did when it came to Audrey. He took a long swig of his beer, just to get his attention off her for a moment, not that she allowed it to stay that way for long. 

Audrey couldn’t let him just push aside how wonderful he was. No, he always did that and she was running out of time to get that across to him. “No, no, no, no, no, it's more than that. You're here. You... you just left everything, and you got on a plane, and you came here to Colorado with me.” 

Duke turned to look at her, getting lost in her eyes again, no matter how hard he tried to fight it. “Audrey, I'd do anything you need me to,” he all but whispered. “Hunt down your past, Fight your future.” There was nothing that he wouldn’t do for her. 

Audrey got just as lost in his eyes as she fought her feelings. “The past is gone. And the future…” she closed her eyes, trying to break the unbreakable moment, but when she opened them again, it was still there. Hanging heavily in the air. “thank God, it is not here yet. All we have is...” That was as far as she got before she couldn’t hold herself back anymore and closed the small distance between them. 

The moment her lips met his, Duke was gone. He realized that it was so much worse than he even thought. His hand moved to her neck and he completely lost himself in the moment that was everything he’d been missing his entire life. It wasn’t until her jacket was sliding off her shoulders that it dawned on him what he was doing and he started fighting with himself, trying to find the strength to stop this before it went to far. No matter how desperately he wanted this…he didn’t want it this way. 

Audrey could feel Duke trying to pulling away and that was the bucket of cold water she needed and she jerked away and moved halfway across the room, trying to get herself under control and catch her breath. She caught Duke’s heavy exhale as he got up and took a few steps back too as he looked more than a little uncomfortable. “Uh...20 days, that's...that's not long enough for me to fix our friendship if I screw this up. So...” she trailed off, waiting…hoping…for him to say something. Anything. Give her some clue about where to go from here. 

Duke didn’t really trust himself to speak right now, but she was clearly waiting for him to say something, so he settled for, “I…don’t know what you want me to say…”

“Just…give me something here, Duke. Tell me…what you want me to do. Do I…do I walk away or…or…”

“You’re drunk, Audrey,” he tried to point out. “I can’t…”

“I’m not drunk,” she protested. When she caught the skepticism in his eyes she explained. “I’m buzzed, yeah. Uninhibited, sure, but not drunk.” She wasn’t going to push anything he didn’t want, but she wanted that part made clear at least. 

“If you were sober, you wouldn’t want…this,” Duke managed to say with much more effort than he expected. 

“I…I’ve wanted this for…for a long time, I just…” she sighed and changed tracks. “I /want/ this, but…but I /need/ your friendship, so…” she paused for him to say something else and when he didn’t, she just turned. “I'm gonna get some air.”

As soon as the first words fell from her mouth, Duke felt like he’d been whacked over the head with a hammer as his mind tried to process that…and everything else she said. Could he really believe it? That she really wanted him? Could he really be that lucky? Or was it just the alcohol talking? Could he take the risk? Letting this happen only for her to regret it in the morning…it would kill him. It had been hard enough when she stood him up for their date last year and he hadn’t felt a fraction as strongly about her back then. But if she really wanted this now…and had for a while…could he just let her walk away? God, he loved her so much, and he couldn’t shake the sinking feeling in his gut that if he let her walk away now…he’d never get another chance, but…He was jolted out of his thoughts as her hand reached the doorknob and he closed the distance between them in three strides and grabbed her wrist to stop her. 

Audrey turned back to look at him and sucked in a sharp breath at his expression. He’d always worn his heart on his sleeve to some degree, but this…the fear and vulnerability she could see there mixed with hope and…and so much more. “Duke…” she breathed out before being cut off by his lips on hers, kissing her just as desperately as he had before and this time he showed no signs of stopping so she just let herself fall into it. She’d asked what he wanted and this was as clear an answer as she could get. She tangled her hands in his hair as she plastered herself against him…or maybe he pulled her in as his arms wrapped around her back. She didn’t even know and she didn’t care. All that mattered was that this was happening and she realized that she hadn’t been completely right before. She didn’t just want this. She /needed/ this. She needed /him/. In any way she could have him. 

Duke moved his lips to her neck, letting his hands slide under the back of her shirt and she just tilted her head to give him better access as she let out a whimpering moan and that was the last straw for his control. He spun them around and backed her towards the bed, stripping her shirt over her head as he laid her down. As they worked their way up towards the head of the bed, Audrey grabbed the bottom of his shirt and pulled it off and then his lips were on hers again as he settled over top of her. 

Audrey could feel his erection pressing against her core through their pants and she desperately needed those barriers out of the way so her hands slid down his chest to the front of his pants and she started to undo them. That was apparently all Duke was waiting for too since he quickly returned the favor. He moved away long enough to pull her pants the rest of the way off and drop his own, pausing to grab a condom from his wallet, and then he was back over her, kissing her urgently as one hand rolled the condom on and then he was sliding into her and Audrey’s back arched off the bed, her moan joining his. 

Duke set a slow, steady rhythm, not wanting this to end too soon, as both sets of hands and lips wandered everywhere they could reach. He wanted nothing more than to memorize every curve of her body, every inch of her skin, and it seemed that she had the same desire as they moved together, sweat glistening on their bodies. It couldn’t last forever though and eventually their movements turned more frantic, insistent, eager, as they both chased the edge. “God…Audrey…” Duke breathed out as he got close. 

“Duke…yes!” she cried out as her orgasm crashed through her and with a grunting moan Duke followed right behind. They clung to each other tightly as they rode out the waves and then after as they tried to catch their breath. It was a few minutes before Duke went to roll to the side, pulling a whimper from her at the loss of contact, and she couldn’t help but follow him, barely registering his arm pulling her close as she pressed herself to his side. 

It was a long moment before either of them spoke, just basking in the moment, neither really wanting it to end. Duke was the one to break the silence though as he asked jokingly, “Are you still gonna make me sleep on the couch?” At least he hoped it was a joke. 

Audrey laughed and shook her head. “Not unless you really want to.” 

“Yeah, I’m gonna go with a big fat no on that one,” he chuckled as he shifted them down and underneath the blankets. He knew that there was more to be said. Things to discuss and work out. That could wait until morning though. Once their heads were clear of both the euphoria and the alcohol. When they could really process all this and figure out where they would go from here. He knew that any promises made right now would look very different in the light of day and if this was going to be a one-time thing, he could live with that, but to have his hopes raised for more just for it all to come crashing down…or worse…her trying to live up to those promises despite her heart not being in it…no. Everything else needed to wait until morning. “Goodnight, Audrey,” he whispered. 

“Goodnight, Duke,” she whispered back, savoring the moment in his arms. Even if this was all she ever got, she would cherish it forever. 

Duke woke first the next morning and buried his face in her hair, just breathing her in and relishing what might be one of his last moments like this. It wasn’t long before he felt her starting to stir and smiled when she turned to press a kiss to his chest. “Any regrets?” he had to ask, trying to keep the question light and hide his fear of her answer. 

“No,” she said quickly, her arm around his stomach squeezing just a little bit tighter. 

“But…” he could hear the word in her answer and needed to know why. To get it all over with. 

“I…I can’t lose you, Duke,” she said shakily. “You’re…you’re the only thing that keeps me strong most days and I’m just afraid…that this is…that you’ll…”

“Hey,” he said gently, shifting down so the he could look her in the eyes. “You don’t really think our friendship is that fragile, do you?” he asked with an encouraging smile. 

“I-I hope not,” she breathed out. 

“Audrey, no matter what happens with all this…if this is a one-time thing or more than that…I’m still gonna be your friend. I’m still gonna /be/ here as long as you can put up with me,” he promised with a chuckle. 

“Do you…want it to be…more than a one-time thing?” she asked hesitantly. 

“I want this to be whatever you want it to be,” he said cryptically. 

“But what do /you/ want?” she asked. 

“I want…” Duke fought for the courage to tell her. “I want…” He took a deep breath and steeled himself for what he was about to say before he opened his eyes and looked directly into hers. “I want…to spend every last second we have with you, and…and to fight this Hunter thing with everything we’ve got and…and to never have to lose you.” 

Audrey swallowed around the lump in her throat as she leaned forward and kissed him slow and sweet. “That’s what I want too,” she whispered. “But what if we can’t? What if…”

“Shh,” Duke put a finger to her lips. “What if we walk out this door and get hit by a truck? Life never has any guarantees. Does that mean it’s not worth it to try?” 

“No,” she breathed out, reaching up to tuck his hair behind his ear. “It’s definitely worth it. This is…worth /everything/.” 

“Yeah, it is,” he smiled brightly, kissing her again. “So just so we’re all clear…we’re really doing this? Living each moment to the fullest and all? Together?” 

“Together,” she agreed with a nod. “But I still need to help where I can with the troubles anyway.” 

“I don’t think we could escape them if we tried,” Duke chuckled. He wasn’t going to argue about her doing her job. “As long as you realize that there’s more to life than that too.”

“I don’t think you’ll let me forget,” she grinned. 

“Definitely not,” Duke grinned back. “So, what do you say we start by seeing if the shower here is big enough for two?” 

Duke was definitely right about them not being able to escape the troubles because no sooner than they got back, the race was on to save Nathan’s life. Thankfully they succeeded in the nick of time, and they had a bit to relax. Audrey moved a good portion of her stuff into the Rouge for these last three weeks, both of them intent on making each moment count and not missing a second that they could have. Not with the deadline bearing down on them. If they managed to beat it they could evaluate any longer term arrangements later, but for now, neither of them wanted to leave each other’s sides. 

Nathan wasn’t particularly happy about their relationship, still worried about Duke’s Crocker thing and the warnings they’d gotten, but after a fight with Audrey, agreed to stay out of it. It seemed like one disaster after another for the next three weeks, but Duke and Audrey never stopped fighting for a future while still grabbing every moment of happiness they could in the present. Finally, the time came and they were no closer to an answer, but Duke wasn’t letting Audrey out of his sight. Unfortunately, Arla had different ideas and Duke was tased so that she could take off with Audrey. 

Once Audrey learned why she had to go and the consequences if she didn’t, she knew that she didn’t have a choice. Not that it kept her from grasping at any possible straw. It wasn’t until James told her about the only other way that she gave up. There was no way that she could ever do that. She steeled herself to go out and say her goodbyes. She got the easy ones out of the way first before turning to Nathan. He tried to talk her out of it, but she shut him down cold before giving him a big hug and promising to see him next time around. 

Finally, it was Duke’s turn. He was standing off to the side, waiting patiently, and she could see the despair in his eyes as she walked over. “Duke…you have always been so good to me,” she said with a sniffle as she reached a hand to his cheek. 

“It was easy,” he tried to smile and failed, swallowing around the lump in his throat. “Actually it wasn’t, but…you know me. I like a challenge.” 

“I’m sorry I won’t remember you when I come back,” she said shakily as the first tears fell from her eyes. 

Duke reached up and used his thumbs to wipe them away. “I’ll remember for both of us,” he promised, blinking his own tears away. 

“Do you regret it?” she couldn’t help but ask. 

“Not a second,” he assured her, wrapping one arm around her waist and pulling her close, resting his forehead against hers. “It was still worth it.” 

“I…before I go…I need to tell you…you don’t have to say anything…I wouldn’t remember it anyway…I just need you to know…I-I love you, Duke,” she said, tears falling steadily down her cheeks. 

That was the last straw for Duke’s tears as a few fell from behind his eyes as he tilted his head forward and kissed her gently before saying, “I love you, Audrey. And I will love you for the rest of my life.” He had thought that saying those words would be a lot harder, and maybe it was because he knew that this was his last chance. Maybe it was because his grief was overshadowing everything else. He knew it wasn’t because she wouldn’t remember it because every fiber of his being wished that she would. No matter the reason, those words just felt so natural that he couldn’t help but say them again. “I love you,” he whispered. 

Audrey leaned up for one more lingering kiss before she whispered, “Goodbye, Duke,” and tore herself away to walk towards the barn. 

When Nathan tried to go after her, Duke stopped him. “How can you just let her do this?” Nathan asked incredulously. 

“Because she is trying to help all these people. She is trying to save this town. And it is /her/ choice,” Duke snapped. “It’s not yours…it’s not mine…I hate it, but it’s still her choice,” he said softly, his voice nearly giving out on him as he turned back to watch her go, getting a sad smile from her as she nodded and then stepped inside. When Nathan shrugged him off, he spared a glance to see that Nathan was walking away, not fighting anymore, and then returned to watching the barn until it disappeared. “I’ll remember for both of us,” Duke whispered to the air. “I’ll never stop loving you.”


End file.
